Only one person can build your confidence – guess who? That’s right, you. If you don’t do it, who will?
It will only happen if you make a firm commitment, set goals, plan a strategy and take action. All of this means accepting full responsibility for yourself – deciding to be confident and refusing to allow anyone to deflect you from your chosen course.
Accepting responsibility adds up to never, never blaming other people for:
- Your lack of confidence
- How others treat you
- Your thoughts, words and actions
- Failures, misfortunes and setbacks
- Or anything else.
Assume that everything that happens from now on is your own doing. Think and behave accordingly. You’ll find it’s one of the most liberating things you can do.
For any of us to be truly free, we must first be willing to be responsible for our lives
Consider why people find it so hard to admit full responsibility for their lives? What are they afraid of?
Does any of this apply to you? Think of a time when you didn’t take responsibility. Write down what you were afraid of.
Write down this sentence:
‘I avoid self-responsibility the most when…’ Quickly, without thinking about it too hard, write down the first six things that come to mind. Reflect on what you’ve written. What does it tell you about yourself?
Write down this sentence:
‘If I took more responsibility for my thoughts, words and actions…’ Quickly write down the first six things that come to mind. Reflect on what you’ve written. What have you learned?
Create a Wall of Confidence. To change erroneous beliefs it’s necessary to keep reminding yourself of what is right and true, so why not cover one wall of your home with your favourite confidence-boosting ideas, quotations and anecdotes? If you prefer, put up a noticeboard.
Whenever you come across an inspiring or a constructive idea, pin it up. You don’t have to learn them off by heart – simply having them on display influences the subconscious.
Start by posting these affirmations on your Wall of Confidence. ‘It is safe for me to take charge of my life.’ ‘I am responsible for myself and everything I think and do.’
Think of three things you can do or stop doing from now on to take responsibility for your confidence and self-esteem. Write them out in large script, in the form of a poster, and fix it to your Wall of Confidence.
Resolve to face up to problems and difficulties rather than avoiding them. Avoiding pain and discomfort – physical and emotional – is understandable, but self-defeating in the longer term. You merely find yourself being confronted by similar difficulties over and over again until you eventually have to face up to them. And it does nothing for your confidence.
From now on accept full responsibility for your feelings – all of them. Look at yourself in a mirror and say, ‘Today, and for the rest of my life, I am responsible for my own feelings. I am in charge of my emotions.’
Do it now!
We have to learn to be our own best friend because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies
You have the power….
You have the power to become confident, if you want to, and if you go about it the right way. Everyone has this power and it doesn’t matter how lacking in confidence you are now.
You can change your way of thinking. You can use your imagination differently. You can alter your way of speaking. You can let go of destructive habits and change your behaviour. You can do all this now, from this moment on. Then over time your confidence will grow and you’ll feel better and better about yourself with each passing day.
How do I know?
Firstly because I know hundreds of people personally who have become more confident, and I know of thousands more.
Secondly, they include the person with whom I spend the most time – myself. In my teens I had no confidence whatsoever. I couldn’t even bring myself to say hello to people I didn’t know. Then, in my mid-20s, I decided to do something about it. I started reading self-help books and attending courses and seminars. I worked on myself. I’ve since accomplished many things I could not have envisaged in those far off days, including speaking to large audiences. I have far exceeded my initial expectations. And I’m still improving.
I’m no different from you. If I can do it, so can you!
Every single step makes a difference, so start right away. Take responsibility. Sow the seeds of confidence and watch them grow. Millions have already done so and now it’s your turn!